SMALL WONDER: ROBOTIC ASSASSIN
by surfskullisland
Summary: Jamie Lawson is 27 years old, attending junior college, and has no plans on leaving when his robotic sister, Vicki, who had, years earlier, been taken by the government, returns... And she's very different: quickly adhering to her brother's nefarious plans to get rid of all rival grown-up children, ranging from The Brady Kids to The Keaton Family.


SMALL WONDER: ROBOTIC ASSASSIN

CHAPTER 1. GONE DUCKS AT COLLEGE

It had been years... ten to be exact… and Jamie Lawson was still in junior college, and had no desire to go anyplace else. After all, why should he? The pond in the center of the campus, about fifty feet from the back of the newly built bookstore, was so relaxing that he spent much time there, even when he was supposed to be in class, coaxing ducks over with stale bread and then, when their feathery trust was sealed, he'd replace grain with Alka Seltzer, sending the ducks to an early, painful demise.

He liked watching the ducks, after swimming to the middle of the pond, stop and thus, when the antacid went to work on their insides, explode. Not like a car does on television, all fire and melodrama… Nothing like that that all… In fact it was a very subtle demise. The birds would, as if saying, "Thanks for the treat," politely cruise away from the spot where he'd given them their last meal, and simply topple over like a broken toy sailboat – their feet risen in the air like twin flags on a forgotten moon.

Jamie had to be very cautious, and would always make sure he was the only person around during these middle-afternoon moments of, what he considered, pure bliss. He not only liked death but being part of it gave him a kind of euphoric rush, liken to a sexual release. Only at this point, at 27 years old, he'd only experienced one, and not the other. You can say the ducks were punished for his lack of sealing the envelope. And even when fulfilled, where would he send it anyway?

Jamie was waiting till marriage. He wasn't religious, either, just extremely picky. And had zero friends.

Having grownup with two friendly parents and, of all things, a robotic sister, the deep feelings of torturously annoying sibling rivalry was practically impossible to dodge or, within his ever-tormented conscious, escape from. What this had to do sexually wasn't apparent – he just felt very alone, and strange, extremely secretive, and downright abandoned.

The government took his robot sister, Vicki, away when Jamie was a senior in high school…

Years before, when he was entering 10th grade, Jamie had figured out ways of making her comply to his progressively nefarious wishes – she had even learned how to capture cats, referred to as "roof rabbits," for him to keep inside the garage. He would fatten them up and eventually, unlike the ducks, set the furry beasts free… But being so large they had a difficult time escaping… From what, you ask?

When the garage door was open, so was the side yard gate – his pet Rottweiler, Wesley, would run after the titanic cats – who had no chance of a clean getaway. Wesley was the fattest dog on the block. And Jamie's sister was only responsible for capturing the felines in the first place. He was the warden who administered the Fancy Feast meals that would lead to their violent conclusion.

When not capturing neighbor's pets, most of Vicki's time was spend sitting near the fireplace, recharging. No more fun and games like the good old days. She had no more use, really. And it was his mother, Joan, who called the "authorities" upon realizing their little robotic daughter, who looked extremely human, was no longer a necessary member of the family. "A cog in the wheel," Joan said, "that's headed to the scrap yard."

When Jamie graduated junior high, his father, Ted, was killed in a speedboat crash during a business trip with three hookers pretending to be Vice Presidents. "I need this trip," he explained to Joan, "because I haven't had a raise in centuries." When he made this statement, he had his fingers crossed. Not just two, but every finger was crossed. Toes too. And he actually didn't say "raise" although it sounded that way. He said, "Rise." And it was true. Sexual relations between the couple had gotten dismal the last several years.

Lack of intercourse, Ted's death, and the realization of his infidelity, made Joan even more frustrated… there is a nauseating sickness overriding anger when a wife discovers her husband has been unfaithful… and could have resulted in her choice to get rid of Vicki. Either way, by the time Jamie graduated high school at age 21… and then went to the junior college where he has no use of graduating… Vicki was a distant memory.

So now, Jamie, who was about to administer another duck its last gulp of life, considered death by the result of surreptitious murder a release that was liken to having a fresh cool lemonade in purgatory. It was only a short break from the inevitable.

He felt, on himself, the end was near. Being extremely alone, living in a one-bedroom apartment across the street from the college, he needed a chance of pace. Or any kind of pace at all. Or else he would join those ducks in the afterlife. And he hoped and prayed that, on Judgment day, God's name wasn't Donald or, for that matter, Howard.

And so, this fear alone… of entering Hell instead of Heaven… kept him alive for longer than he wanted, or deserved: And he had no idea that a familiar face would enter his existence once again.


End file.
